


Baking a Cake with Our Girlfriend

by Thursdays_Dove



Category: Portal (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, F/M, GLaDOS and Wheatley are in their core/robotic forms, Innuendo, Multi, Polyamory, Suggestive Themes, Threesome, Threesome - F/F/M, and uh copious amounts of cake, lame humor, oh and cream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:00:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23675011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thursdays_Dove/pseuds/Thursdays_Dove
Summary: Nothing to see here. Just an innocent, sweet, cream-filled little story in which GLaDOS and Wheatley are baking a cake for their girlfriend, Chell. Er, right?
Relationships: Chell/GLaDOS, Chell/GLaDOS/Wheatley, Chell/Wheatley (Portal), GlaDOS/Wheatley
Comments: 1
Kudos: 87





	Baking a Cake with Our Girlfriend

"Our lady is looking mighty glum today, luv," Wheatley said as he appeared from out of nowhere, fidgeting restlessly on his rail, and looking rather crestfallen.

GLaDOS did not really want to acknowledge him at the moment - she was too busy watching her two little robots repeatedly fail at the same testing track they had been on for five hours now - but she knew he would not go away if she did not, so she simply stated, "Well, it is, as they say, almost her time of the month."

"Couldn't we do something? Cheer her up?"

"It is probably better to leave her be. Let it run its course."

"I know what would cheer her up! We could bake her a cake!"

GLaDOS shifted her optic downward only slightly, but it was enough that Wheatley squirmed as if had the distinct feeling that she was looking down her nose at him even though she was always looking down on him from her superior vantage.

"What? What's that look for?"

"Did you hear what I just said, or do we need to have your audio receivers re-calibrated again?"

"What, what's that supposed to mean? What's wrong with baking her a cake?"

"Exactly _what_ are you suggest- oh," GLaDOS stopped herself short, rolling her optic at herself. This idiot really _had_ started to rub off on her... "You mean bake her a _cake_. Then by all means, go right ahead."

Wheatley blinked, narrowing his eye and giving her a suspicious look. "All right, just going to pretend that nothing weird happened just now..." He trailed off and slowly turned around, optic trained on her for a moment longer before looking back along his rail. For a second GLaDOS thought maybe he was going to let it be. Good. Because she had tried the whole _"cake"_ thing earlier with the lady in question and had been swiftly rejected by having a book thrown at her. If it hadn't worked for her, then certainly it wouldn't work for him. Still, she was left feeling a bit put out by the whole ordeal and was happy to share some of her misery with the idiot.

Alas, she should have known better, because the next second, he was spinning back around and his mouth was running again, "Are you sure that _you_ don't need some re-calibration? You know, it happens even to the best of us, and let's face it, you are among the best of us." He gave a small, knowing nod. "I could even have a look around for you, if you'd like. You know - _really_ get _in_ there."

"No," was her succinct reply. That little idiot really had a one track mind sometimes. What, he hadn't been able to get on Chell's good side, so now he was trying to get on _hers_? Never mind that she had tried it herself earlier and had failed spectacularly - that had nothing to do with her sour attitude at the moment, not at all. She hardly wanted to admit that she, as a fellow woman - even though she was, in fact, a mechanical being - had synchronized with Chell over the last few months, in a way that whenever Chell was experiencing certain pre-menstrual symptoms, GLaDOS herself swore that she was feeling them too. Hell, that was why she had even tried in the first place.

At any rate, as endearing as their little idiot could be, he was still an idiot and she was in no mood for him at the moment.

She made to turn around and go about her business, but Wheatley was right up on her again, "Okay, fine, fine - you don't want any of that right now, I get it. Clever ol' Wheatley is picking up what you're laying down there. Fair enough. But! I could still use your help with the cake."

"Listen, metal ball, I have a lot of work to do, if you coul-.."

"I mean, I'm sure I could bake a cake by myself and all - What idiot doesn't know how to bake a cake, right? Pft, ridiculous - but I bet - I just bet - it would be nothing compared to if you helped me. I mean, _your_ cakes are just so-... so-... delicious and _moist_. Or so I've heard - never had cake myself, but our lady does seem to enjoy yours a lot."

"If you would just, for one second, sh-.."

"Think of how happy it will make her! I mean, I don't know about you, but when she smiles, it's the best thing in the world - right next to when _you_ smile. Figuratively speaking, of course, seeing as you can't actually- So what do you say? Help me help our dear Chell?"

GLaDOS considered for a moment letting him go ahead on a solo baking adventure. She even considered for a moment that it might be worth the mess just to see him fail so miserably. But the idea of the extent of the mess he could make coupled with the idea of cheering up her favorite test subject - well, that made up her mind for her.

"Very well, but-.."

"Brilliant! Knew you'd agree!" he exclaimed with an excited flail of his handles, and GLaDOS couldn't help but think that yes, he was an idiot, but lucky for him he was an adorable idiot, and really, that alone was what stopped her from dropping him into the incinerator on her worst days. "Well, what are you waiting for? Call up the kitchen! I got everything set up and ready to go!"

"What do you mean - I thought you just came up with this idea."

"Ehhhhh, I may have exaggerated a little," he replied, rolling his eye a full 360, his version of a gesture of innocence. "Like I said, clever Wheatley knew you'd go along."

GLaDOS rolled her optic back at him, her version of a gesture of exasperation, as she went about moving rooms and panels around, to bring her kitchen up to them, "I hope that completely incorrect thought makes you feel almost as good as talking about yourself in the third person d-.. Oh for Science's sake, what have you done to my kitchen!"

As the kitchen rose out of the floor and into her field of vision before settling into place, all she could see was the mess that covered the counter top. This was even worse than she had imagined. _Stuff_ covered the entire work space, almost to the degree that had she not known any better, she would have sworn that that little idiot did this on purpose.

"We all know your artistic skills - along with every other skill you possess - are so pedestrian that you can only produce finger paintings, but really, did you have to _destroy my kitchen while doing so?!_ " she roared, aghast by what she was looking at.

Wheatley flinched and drew back, but nonetheless seemed to be _smiling_ at her in spite of himself and in spite of her ire. What, did he seriously find this to be _funny?!_ First he almost blows up her entire beautiful facility with his stupidity, then he destroys her kitchen?! Oh that made her _mad_. It made her _so mad_ she wanted to stuff him into a potato and punch him down an elevator shaft. But all she could do was fume and stare.

"Gotta have fingers to do those, luv, but you know what? While I am at least mildly offended by your criticism, I am even more concerned that you think I was trying to _paint_ anything. I mean, I _did_ say we were going to bake a cake. Are you _sure_ about that whole re-calibration thing? Because you know I'm down for it any time, any place-.." He had the sense to change tact upon receiving a particularly menacing glare from his robotic companion, "Okay, right, moving on. So you said you'd help me, right?"

"Wheatley. Listen to me very carefully."

"Yes, luv?"

"We are going to bake Chell the best cake she has ever tasted. But I forbid you - FORBID. YOU. - from touching anything-.."

"What? I thought you said you would help me. How are _we_ going to bake a cake if _you_ do all the work? This is my cake too!"

"Because you make a mess of everything you touch. How is it that you manage to do that?"

"For your information, I am perfectly capable of making a mess of things I _don't_ touch as well, thank you very much. Some might call that a talent."

"PS - my question was rhetorical. And just who are these 'some' to whom you are referring? Do they even know that they were being polled? Polling is a form of science, and science without consent is just wrong. Almost as wrong as what you did to both this so-called cake and my kitchen."

"Consent!" he blurted, "Well, I'll tell you what _I_ consent to - I _consent_ to you giving _me_ consent to help you help me work on the cake, how's _that_ for consent?"

Everything inside her head came to a near halt at his words. No no no, this must be some kind of paradox, don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it...

Yanking herself out of her own loop, she amended, "Fine, I forbid you from touching anything unless I explicitly tell you to do so. And we are going to start with cleaning up this mess."

With the two of them working together, it did not take long at all to get everything cleaned up and in working order. Satisfied with the results, GLaDOS started sifting through their pantry and refrigerator, pulling out supplies and setting them on the countertop as she went. Wheatley, at least for the time being, was being quiet, obedient, and attentive.

Too bad that did not last long.

"So, what kind of cake are we making? I see cocoa powder - so there's chocolate. Sugar, that's important. Flour, salt, baking powder- I like where this is going. Oh, and strawberries! Very nice. Let's see... How about whipped cream? I don't see any of that out here."

"We are not putting whipped cream on top of my cake."

" _Our_ cake. And why not?"

"Because this recipe does not call for whipped cream."

"But I call for it! Actually, our lady calls for it, but since she can't actually call for it herself, I am calling for it on her behalf. She loves the stuff!"

After some back and forth, she decided to concede to the idiot, for no reason other than to shut him up. Besides, this would be something to keep him occupied. If he wasn't doing _something_ , GLaDOS was 100% certain he would be making an even bigger mess than before, impossible as it seemed.

"You want me to whip the cream?" he asked, looking around, "And how exactly do you propose I do _tha-_ AAAAAAARRRGGHHH!"

A claw suddenly descended from the ceiling, attached something to the underside of Wheatley's hull, eliciting a deafening shriek from him, before whisking out of sight just as quickly.

"What- What was that for?! What did I ever do to you, huh?! I mean, at least a warn a core before- oh, look at that, I didn't know anything could be attached down there. So, what's this for? What's it do?" he inquired while tilting back, examining the new appendage and brandishing it at her in the process.

GLaDOS scoffed, "What do you _think_ it's used for?"

Wheatley's eye narrowed, "Ummmmm..."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I asked you to think - silly me, I should have known better."

"Hey!"

"It's called a hand mixer, you moron. You use it to mix things - like your cream there."

"...How can it be called a _hand_ mixer if I haven't got any...?"

GLaDOS gave him a long, hard stare. "...Just read the manual and get to work." A pause. "You _can_ read, can't you?"

"Wow, rude. So glad I'm not the one who pissed in your Cheerio's this morning," he grumbled. "You know what, it's all good. I'm sure I can figure this thing out, me being so clever and all. But I will ask that you add more cream to the mix. Now, more cream. More... _More._ I'm thinking of a word that starts with M. Any guesses? It's MORE."

"If you say 'more' one more time, I'm going to bake _you_ into this cake - which, need I remind you, is what we are trying to make. What you are suggesting we make is a cream pie."

"Cream pie! Cream pie?! I'll show _you_ a cream pie! Oh, hello, luv!"

GLaDOS turned to see what had caused the sudden diversion of Wheatley's attention - which did not take much, sadly - and regarded her human partner with as blank a look as she could muster, which wasn't exactly difficult for her, seeing as she was a robot and all and could not actually make any facial expressions.

Chell stood in the doorway, a book in one hand - the same book she had thrown at her earlier, GLaDOS noted with bitter flicker of her bright yellow optic - and nothing in the other, which she then used to gesture at the two of them as if to say, _What in the hell are you two idiots doing in here?_

While GLaDOS did not appreciate being called an idiot - despite the fact that Chell had not actually called her anything - she still made to respond-..

But Wheatley beat her to it, beaming at her, "We're baking a cake! For you! Your favorite - chocolate and strawberries and whipped cream, mmm."

Chell gave the two robots a dubious look before moving to sit on a stool at the other end of the counter. She carefully eyed the.. _thing_.. that was now attached to the underside of her partner, but apparently decided not to question it. In spite of this, she did seemed to be interested in prospect of cake.

"Just wanted to add that it was _my_ idea," Wheatley said with a small nod and looking rather smug. "I mean, our dear GLaDOS was the one who informed me that you are experiencing certain, um, _lady_ issues - unfortunate, can't be helped - but it was my idea to make you a cake, although I decided on making you a cake before that little tidbit was revealed."

What! That little idiot was trying to show her up after enlisting her help? Like hell she was going to allow that!

"What this little idiot here was trying to make you was, in fact, a cream pie," she said in an offhanded tone, trying to underscore that this was rudimentary knowledge, "No cake needs that much cream either in it or on it - not even yours."

GLaDOS noticed, much to her interest, that Chell seemed to suddenly flush. Strange, the temperature in the room seemed normal, albeit a little warmer around the stove for obvious reasons. She supposed it could be a slight spike in her internal body temperature, which was not at all abnormal for a woman about to undergo her menses. Still. Interesting.

None of this, however, slowed down Wheatley and his runaway train of speech in the slightest, " _Which_ is what we were arguing about - excuse me, _discussing_ \- because pies and cakes are quite different and you would think _she_ would know the difference, seeing as I asked her to help me and all. Er, I mean, when I say _help me_ , um, let me clarify. I only asked her to help me because, uh... because... because I.. thought.. you'd... like it better if we _both_ made a cake for you! Yes! Even though it was my idea, just a little reminder."

"That's just sad," GLaDOS tutted with a shake of her head, gaining the attention of both of her partners, "And here I thought we were working together to bake a cake for Chell out of the goodness of our hearts, not so we could have bragging rights. My mistake."

She tutted some more, shook her head again, and turned away before she could see either of their reactions, not that she needed to see them to know what was going on behind her. As she resumed tending to the cake batter, she heard a bunch of loud scuffling noises, presumably as Wheatley spluttered and rocked himself back and forth on his rail in outrage.

"Rude, that's what that is! Bloody _rude_! I mean, here I am, going out of my way, _only_ thinking of our dear lady, and I get accused of having ulterior motives! The nerve!" he ranted and GLaDOS could hear that he was still agitated and shifting around a lot. She smirked to herself while pretending not to notice a thing. "Well, how's this for ulterior motives! I would like it, if I'm honest, if there was _loads_ of cream on _all over_ your cake, luv, because that's your _favorite_ part and you deserve only the best! So you just sit there and ol' Wheatley will whip you up the best cream you've ever had! There's gonna be _so much_ of it, you won't know what to do with it all! There'll be _so much_ you'll be practically _swimming_ in it! It's going to be _so delicious_ you'll be licking it right off the cake and begging for more of it, and there _will_ be more! Oh yes, _loads_ more, _all for you_..."

With that, and with a series of incomprehensible grumbles, incoherent rambling, and otherwise nonsensical babble, Wheatley got to work with whisking his own bowl with his mixer attachment. Every now and then she could make out a few words and phrases, things like " _rude_ " and " _show her_ " and " _best tasting cream there ever was, that's what I'm saying_ ".

"You better not be making another mess back there."

"Or else what? You'll make me clean it up? Well, good, that's a good, _stiff_ punishment. _Very_ original," he snorted while continuing his furious motions.

"Or else _I'll_ clean it up with your _face_ ," she replied coolly and turned to look at what he was doing. Flecks of whipped cream were flying in just about every direction, landing on just about every surface, but GLaDOS found that she did not care much in lieu of seeing how much she had gotten into the little idiot's circuits. Good. Served him right for trying to throw her under the bus. "Speaking of stiff, you see those peaks? That cream is ready and needs to be stored in the refrigerator for after the cake has cooled."

"I think I'll work it just a little bit more, actually. I can tell when my cream is ready, thank you very much. That's it, almost there, just a little bit more..." and with that, he doubled down on his efforts, his voice and artificial breathing shaking along with his movements.

GLaDOS shifted her body in a shrug, because she literally could not care less whether or not the cream was whipped enough - it was _not_ going on the cake. She moved to get to work incorporating the strawberries into the batter next, when she caught movement from the direction of her human companion. She thought, for a moment, that perhaps the idiot had gotten whipped cream all over her book and Chell was moving to save the book from the careless splatter he was creating. In fact, he _had_ gotten it all over her book, but Chell seemed to just be staring at it, the brain damaged lunatic.

Well, whatever. GLaDOS was about to go back to what she was doing - really, Chell shouldn't have brought the book anywhere near their dearest little idiot if she had not wanted it getting damaged in some way - when she noticed she was _tasting_ some of the cream that had landed on her book. And that the flush on her face was still there, if not even more pronounced than before. And-...

Oh. Now _this_ was interesting. It was all adding up, now that she was getting a better look. The way she was shifting around in her seat, like she had to relieve her bladder but was refusing to get up to do so. The way her pupils were dilated, and the casual tilt of the head along with her ponytail being pulled off to one side, therefore leaving a bit of her neck exposed. And, oh yes, the way her chest was rising and falling more rapidly than usual, inviting GLaDOS to have a good at look at her...

Well. _Speaking_ of _stiff_ peaks...

There was no doubt about it - their lady was aroused. Quite so, it seemed. This whole debacle turned out even better than she could have hoped for, mess and all. Along with this revelation came the realization that she did need the idiot on her side after all. She leaned over and gave Wheatley a gentle nudge, enough to get his attention. He looked up sharply, frustrated, still huffing, and followed her line of sight, until incredibly he managed to put together what was going on. Both AI's shared a look, each grinning in their own way, and with that they came to an automatic, unspoken agreement.

"Wheatley," she said calmly, "Since you've proven how good you are at stirring things, why don't you come over here and stir this for me? I need to get the pan ready."

"Yeah, do that, luv. Make sure you get every _inch_ of that pan nice and _slick_ , don't need the cake sticking to anything, don't need it going in _dry_ , heh heh," he coaxed, his voice low and husky in a way that they both knew had an effect on Chell (hell it even had an effect on _her_ sometimes (not that she would ever admit to that), _especially_ if the mood was right (which it was (not that she would ever admit to that either (That little idiot really did throw her thoughts off track sometimes (Now where was she? Oh, right))))).

"Yes, nobody likes that. Sufficient lubrication is always the best way to go."

"Oh, look at that, all the fruit sank to the bottom," he went on, and although their lady was not looking in their direction, they could both tell she was hanging onto his every word. In fact, she seemed to be putting so much effort into trying to _not_ pay attention, it just made the fact that she _was_ paying attention all the more obvious. If there was one thing GLaDOS could give the idiot credit for, it was that he knew how to use his voice and expressions to his advantage. "I hate it when all the fruit sinks to the bottom, don't you?"

"Yes, it makes it difficult to get a good bite. Cake is so much more _moist_ and _refreshing_ when there's an even distribution of ingredients. Best give it a good stir, make sure everything is silky smooth and _glistening_."

"I love it when a perfectly baked cake _glistens_. And with the cream all over it - Ohhh, it's perfect," he agreed, and did not forget to throw a small groan in there, just for added effect.

And have an effect, it did. As she went about greasing up the inside of the pan, she threw a surreptitious look over at her human partner. Chell was now practically squirming in her seat, rubbing her thighs together furiously in an effort to gain some relief. The lady shifted her glazed look over and suddenly their gazes met. GLaDOS used this opportunity to make the very deliberate motion of reaching out for the bowl that Wheatley had just finished mixing, which he relinquished without any fuss, and allowing the batter to slowly ooze out of the bowl and into the greased pan.

Together, the two of them watched proudly as their work paid off, watched as the red in their lady's face deepened another shade. She watched her beloved test subject even more closely when she used the rubber spatula to slowly smooth it all out, watching as her mouth fell open ever so slightly, more, until the woman was openly gaping at her. This was exactly what she was looking for and she felt excitement racing through her circuits from it. She could even feel an excited static coming from her adorable little idiot, forcing them to subconsciously draw nearer to each other.

"Well, now, that is perfect," she spoke softly, so as not to break the spell, "Now we have the batter ready, it's time to get this into the oven."

"Ohhh, I _love_ watching it go in. Just like that, nice and slow."

If GLaDOS had had an actual face, she would have been needing to bite down hard on her lower lip so as not to give herself away. And she was not the only one who was biting down on her (figurative) lip - a quick glance at Chell revealed that the woman was practically gnawing on her own.

"So, what do you say we turn the heat up a little, eh?" said Wheatley, his tone now so low, it sent an involuntary shiver through both GLaDOS and Chell, "Get things moving along?"

"I'd say the temperature is just right. We need to keep things at a nice, steady pace - otherwise we might end up with a mess at the end."

"Oh, you don't like messy things?" he chuckled, "Had me fooled there for a second."

"Just _one_ second?"

"One and a half, luv, but only because you are especially clever. Speaking of messy things, hey what's that! Look at the mess we-.."

"- _you_ -" GLaDOS interjected, unable to help herself.

"..-made! Needs some cleaning up. Some good HUMAN hands ought to do the trick, maybe even tongue. Mm looks tasty, I always heard licking the bowl was the best part."

Something inside their lady visibly appeared to snap, because one minute she was sitting on the stool, eyes cast downward, and the next she was standing so fast, the stool was falling over and banging against the floor with a sound like a gunshot. She marched right over to the two robots, her steely eyes ablaze with a fiery determination that was so reminiscent of the look she had given her just before ripping off bits of her and throwing them into the incinerator that GLaDOS actually flinched back (and she was not the only one, she noted in the brief interim, as Wheatley was flinching away from her as well). And then with one swift movement, she seized both of the robots by their respective parts - Wheatley by one of his handles, and she, GLaDOS, by the underside of her face plate - and with almost inhuman strength hauled them both downwards, straining against where they were attached to the facility, until they were all at eye-level with one another.

For a moment, none of them moved or said anything. The dynamic had suddenly changed and they all knew who was in charge now - not that there was ever any questioning of it. Wheatley's gaze was flicking every which way with a nervous, excited energy, and GLaDOS herself couldn't tell if she liked the wicked look her lady was giving her, but that was all fried right out of her circuits once the touching and disrobing began.

From that moment on, all she could focus on was the soft, heated skin of her favorite test subject as it was pressed up against her; the feel of her tongue, _oh her tongue_ , more pleasurable than any wet human muscle had any business being; and her fingers, _oh her clever little fingers_ , searching and finding all the right spots; the sound of Wheatley and his never-ending babble gradually dissolving into a whimpering, moaning mess beside her as he received the same treatment, Chell alternating between the two of them; the way the idiot, _oh her idiot_ , lavished both of his partners with praise and over the top attention, and yes, they were his and he was theirs, but really they were all _each other's_ ; until, when all was said and done, the three of them collapsed into a big, satisfied, tangled heap of sweaty human limbs, overheated cables, and the thrumming of servos.

"Bloody hell," Wheatley gasped, still panting even though he had no biological need to, his panels all pushed outward to allow the excess heat to vent, "That was _fantastic_."

Chell gave him a goofy grin along with a thumbs up, while GLaDOS could do little more than give a small, tired grunt of agreement.

The three of them lounged there together, engaging in that cuddling thing that Chell liked to do. It was something which Chell and Wheatley seemed to greatly enjoy, especially with each other, but GLaDOS herself typically did not because usually by that point she was over-stimulated. If they had been able to see all the other parts of the facility the way GLaDOS could, they would have seen many a panel popped out of place in response to the influx of stimuli (unbeknownst to her at the time, one of her panels had even catapulted her little testing robots into a nearby pool of acid).

Ah, well. She allowed it for now, anyway, at least until an acrid sort of smell hit all three of them at once.

GLaDOS was the first to react, "The cake!"

Wheatley followed immediately after her, "OH NO OH NO OHNONONONO!"

Chell just sat there, flung aside, still in the buff, her silvery eyes wide as smoke came billowing out of the oven and along the ceiling. GLaDOS could hear her coughing behind her and had to ignore it in lieu of attempting in vain to rescue the sad remains of their cake. It looked no different than a meteorite, truth be told. And with that, without even a second thought, she dropped it straight into the incinerator.

"Well, that's a shame," she said. She almost added that it had been a colossal waste of her afternoon, but then again, she had gotten laid over it, so it wasn't a _complete_ waste. It had made up for having a book thrown at her earlier, anyway. And the fact that she was still feeling warm and content, ruined cake or not, helped as well.

"Nooooooo!" Wheatley wailed, sobbing over the closed entrance to the incinerator after the cake had disappeared into it, "I - _we_ \- we worked so hard on that! That was the best cake EVER!"

"Keyword: _Was_. Oh, well, back to testing."

GLaDOS turned to start cleaning up the mess their little baking misadventure had created. It wasn't like she could have counted on either of them to help her at the moment. Wheatley was still crying, and Chell appeared to be frowning, but not out of disappointment over the loss of their cake, it seemed. She watched as the mute woman reached over the counter and grabbed the until-then forgotten bowl of over-whipped cream and brought it over to where Wheatley was still blubbering.

"Oh," Wheatley gave a start upon receiving a comforting pat on the top of his hull, "Oh, what's that? The whipped cream? Forget it, luv, it's ruined. I ruined it, remember? Like the cake and everything else."

Chell shook her head and gave him another pat to get his attention. And then she took her spoon, scooped up a big fluffy cloud of the stuff, and dumped it all in her mouth, smiling around the cream as some of it escaped the sides of her mouth. Wheatley responded by lifting up his bottom eye plate in a smile and laughing at their lady's antics. Brain damaged, both of them, GLaDOS thought.

She continued watching the two of them, fascinated by what was going on, though she had no interest in partaking. Truth was, those two knew better how to comfort each other than GLaDOS did - she wasn't sure that comfort was something that she was even programmed to feel or provide. It didn't get any testing done, that was for sure, and so far the only things she could ascertain from the notion were 1.) It made Chell feel better, 2.) It made Wheatley feel better, 3.) GLaDOS was no good at it, and 4.) Any attempts at providing comfort to others so far had resulted in things being thrown at her. It was better to stand back and let them do whatever it was they did to comfort each other.

Wheatley's laughter suddenly ceased and he instead seemed to be watching their lady even more closely, his eye trained on the little bit of cream that slowly crawling down the side of her face.

Oh.

 _Oh_.

That _was_ interesting.

"Ehhh, you know-... We could always go again. Bake another cake, I mean. It's always better the second time, or so I've heard," he said, managing to sound both enthusiastic and enamored at the same time, "GLaDOS, luv, wouldn't you agree?"

Normally, she would not have felt inclined to agree with such an asinine theory, much less agree with the little idiot at all, but after the three of them worked together to bake a second cake, followed by a second round of _eating_ the cake, she found that she could not have agreed more.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, that turned out much longer than I expected. Alas, it exists anyway!
> 
> So, this was inspired by a little joke going on in my Discord group about GLaDOS baking a cake, and then it evolved into her and Wheatley baking a cake for Chell while saying accidental suggestive things, and that evolved into them saying suggestive things on purpose. Hope this tickled your fancy! x3


End file.
